Is it coz I is past it? – Part III

This week, Metro's baffling club-speak goes all foody.

‘THE AGE-OLD maxim goes: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it', but the beats baked by Bedford-based producer Domu are definitely broken biscuits, full of funky flavours and perfect for dance-floor digestion.’

Biscuit dancing not your thing? Try sinking your boogie-teeth into this:

‘MORE OFTEN THAN than not the remix is the Big Mac of the music world - padding out a bland filling with a series of unappetising and uninspired extras. A Jazzanova rework is, in contrast, more like a fine steak, marinated in rich musical knowledge and with a certain succulent raw texture.’

Now there’s a writer keen to invent some new cliches while trying to alienate ‘un-hip’ types like myself. And once again, success! – I have no f*ing clue what the guy is on about.

But I feel I should get out there and party more. I was quite up for the Circle Line party, had I not been busy changing the batteries in the radio, or something. It definitely looked like fun!

If you, like me, missed this night of crazy high-jinks, try this short but funny quiz and find out which version of the tube map you are. I’m the 1908 Metropolitan Map


You are the 1908 Metropolitan Map! One of the
first full maps of the underground, you are a
pioneer. You are a realist and geographically
accurate, with places of interest. Sit down
and have a cup of tea, love.