I blame football

Apart from upsetting everyone by shagging ropey-looking secretaries, it appears Beckham is also responsible for global warming.



The latest made-up report claims young adults are wasting valuable energy trying to look like their celebrity fashion idols.

Yes, these selfish young whippersnappers spend too much time in the shower and use their hairdryers for more than half an hour each day!

Good god! What are they thinking of?

Quite apart from all the flights they (and everybody else) take, their using millions of plastic bags, their driving cars for the shortest of trips, and their general consumer habits ensuring big businesses continue to convert the world’s resources into pollutants to make profits, they have to go and waste electricity drying their hair.

And there is even a name for these utter bastards: Wendys, or Would-be Environmental Not Doing it Yet.

Yes, they are also, apparently, dirty hypocrites.

So next time you feel the need to coif your barnet into a Hoxton fin, think on. What kind of world are you leaving for the children?

On a slightly more serious note, you can see how much of an impact you are making on the environment with this handy calculator. It really is quite interesting.