Alas, poor comet

Yes, the other fish died; unceremoniously flushed down the toilet.

There are just eight left now (sniff).

This is probably my favourite news story of the year:

"A WOMAN was left in shock after a herd of runaway cows trampled over her car.

Barbara Epps, 52, was driving to work when the herd 'came out of a garden and flew over the car and crashed on to the road on the other side'.

She said: 'Some came over the bonnet and others went right over the roof. I can still see their faces smashing into the glass as the windscreen shattered.'

Mrs Epps, from Quedgeley, Gloucestershire, was treated by ambulance staff for shock but did not suffer other injuries. Her car was said to have been 'mangled' during the experience.

It is thought the five or six animals had escaped onto the A4173 towards Edge, in Gloucestershire, from a nearby field. None of them was injured.

The police spokesman added: 'Possibly they might have been in some kind of panic with the car introducing itself into their midst.'

The incident comes just two months after a woman in nearby Bristol was left terrified when a runaway cow ran over her car, leaving it damaged beyond repair."

I will look out for crazed beasts driving my new car home tonight - we are passing Epping Forest on the A406!