What would you do for money?

Who hasn’t had that conversation at some time? The stupidest thing I ever did for money was let some twatty coked-up bloke touch my tits for £5. I was fully clothed, mind you, and it lasted about 3 seconds. Easiest fiver I ever earned.

Well, courtesy of Bill Drummond (formerly half of The KLF) you can now put your money where your mouth is, or you mouth where your money is, on his new website.

Some of the services on offer are hilarious. I especially like this guy:
‘Alibis!
Guilty? Innocent? It's all the same to me. For a fee of 500 pounds a time I will lie to the police about your whereabouts, and for 2000, I will perjure myself in court, and swear a testimony to a fictitious scenario of your choice. Easiest to contact me in advance of crime, and establish the deal. Emergency alibis also available.’

It’s almost as good as the ‘Classified Ads’ on The Framley Examiner.

To see if anyone is actually reading this blog, email me with what you would do for money and how much you would charge and, if anyone responds, I will post the answers next week.