Master and Commander - The Far Side Of The Lea
MONDAY
The trip to Waltham Abbey was certainly easier with all the extra hands. Steve took the opportunity to delegate some of his lock duties to Jo and Sarah and decided to supervise from the bow.
We arrived back at the Old English Gentleman pub in time to join in with the beer festival and meet Bellen.
It was a typical English Bank Holiday event – we were huddled under an umbrella in a pub car park filling our faces with pig-in-a-roll (although The Other Half and I only had onions and stuffing) as the weather cycled through rain, sun, wind and more rain.
But the landlord had made a good effort. Hundreds of people were enjoying a BBQ, kids’ games and a folk band lead by a woman accordionist with the most unfortunate bowl-inspired hairstyle. She clearly needed a trip to Bishop’s Stortford!
After a few pints, it was time for the duck race. About 200 rubber ducks were chucked in the river while hundreds of grown adults screamed their numbers at them while they floated downstream. OK, it wasn’t very rock n roll but it was funny and all for charity.
The highlight of the day for me though, was The Other Half attempting to down a yard of ale. He didn’t stand a chance. The fellas who managed to quaff three pints of beer, some in less than 45 seconds, could well have been carrying twins. I have never seen such gross stretch-marked fat bastards. They must have had at least five bellies.
As you can see, The Other Half is a slim young thing but he did manage a respectable pint-and-a-half.
About 5pm, the excitement was too much for us. We wandered back to the boat and crashed out.
TUESDAY
The Other Half headed off to work about at 7.30am. The rest of the crew slept until 10am. After all, we were on holiday!
We cruised down the Lea. It looked like an entirely different river on the way back and the water was so clear. In places I felt like I was gliding across a gin-clear sea, looking down at kelp forests and the hundreds of fish darting in and out of the fronds. Apart from all the little perch and minnows, or whatever, we saw some HUGE carp.
Jo and Sarah got off at Tottenham Hale as they had to prepare for a pub-crawl. Steve and I continued on to Springfield Marina where we moored up overnight.
It is lovely there. I think I might try and move my boat there but, as with all moorings in London, the chances of getting a berth are thinner than slim.
We wandered into Clapton to find a supermarket. What a curious place! It appears to be populated entirely by Hasidic Jews. Hundreds of men with top hats, long black coats and ringletted sideburns were strolling around while the women dressed like 1920s flappers – calf length skirts with matching jackets, twin-sets and pearls and, more oddly, hats which came down and covered their bobbed hair. And when I say women, most of them were only in their early 20s.
I assume the people of a religious group prefer to marry someone who shares their beliefs, which in Clapton probably doesn’t give you much choice as the population is relatively small. What I guess I am trying to say is everyone looked the same, you know, local features and all that.
The Other Half arrived in time for tea. We played triv after but he got all Paula Radcliffe – when he realised he wasn’t going to win, he gave up!
WEDNESDAY
A chilling start to the day. We were woken by the sound of a woman screaming for help. Steve burst through the back of the boat and ran out on to the towpath. I followed, dialling 999.
We found a woman clinging onto the railings along the bottom of the park which runs along the river. She was very distressed and had been attacked by a man who ran off with her handbag.
I was trying to explain to the call centre where we were but the woman on the end of the phone was being extremely thick and eventually I handed the phone over to Steve. It was then I realised I was standing there in my knickers at 5.30am!
I went back to the boat to make the girl a cup of tea and put some clothes on and by the time The Other Half and I got back to her, she was standing by a car with Steve and another girl who was staying on a boat.
The old bill eventually arrived and it transpired the woman was a prostitute and had picked up a punter but he turned violent. The man actually came back to pick up his car but was arrested.
God knows what actually happened between them but it was clearly not a normal transaction as the girl was so clearly frightened.
What a horrible thing to happen. It is also such a sad story all round. Sad that she said she is ‘addicted’ to working like that as it is so easy – if you need money you can just go out and get it. Sad (probably in a slightly different way) that the man was scouring the streets for sex at five in the morning and felt he could abuse her. Sad that such a nice part of town is the scene of such unpleasant goings on.
The river was beautiful at that time, with a mist rising from the water and the sun just coming up, signalling to the swans and geese to start their day.
When it seemed the police had everything under control we all went back to bed. The Other Half went to work and Steve and I got up at 11am to finish the trip down to Limehouse.
The trip back round the Thames to Poplar was a bit hairy, which is normal when you pilot a bathtub on choppy water! We got back to the berth safely.
It was a great week. I didn’t want it to end.
The trip to Waltham Abbey was certainly easier with all the extra hands. Steve took the opportunity to delegate some of his lock duties to Jo and Sarah and decided to supervise from the bow.
We arrived back at the Old English Gentleman pub in time to join in with the beer festival and meet Bellen.
It was a typical English Bank Holiday event – we were huddled under an umbrella in a pub car park filling our faces with pig-in-a-roll (although The Other Half and I only had onions and stuffing) as the weather cycled through rain, sun, wind and more rain.
But the landlord had made a good effort. Hundreds of people were enjoying a BBQ, kids’ games and a folk band lead by a woman accordionist with the most unfortunate bowl-inspired hairstyle. She clearly needed a trip to Bishop’s Stortford!
After a few pints, it was time for the duck race. About 200 rubber ducks were chucked in the river while hundreds of grown adults screamed their numbers at them while they floated downstream. OK, it wasn’t very rock n roll but it was funny and all for charity.
The highlight of the day for me though, was The Other Half attempting to down a yard of ale. He didn’t stand a chance. The fellas who managed to quaff three pints of beer, some in less than 45 seconds, could well have been carrying twins. I have never seen such gross stretch-marked fat bastards. They must have had at least five bellies.
As you can see, The Other Half is a slim young thing but he did manage a respectable pint-and-a-half.
About 5pm, the excitement was too much for us. We wandered back to the boat and crashed out.
TUESDAY
The Other Half headed off to work about at 7.30am. The rest of the crew slept until 10am. After all, we were on holiday!
We cruised down the Lea. It looked like an entirely different river on the way back and the water was so clear. In places I felt like I was gliding across a gin-clear sea, looking down at kelp forests and the hundreds of fish darting in and out of the fronds. Apart from all the little perch and minnows, or whatever, we saw some HUGE carp.
Jo and Sarah got off at Tottenham Hale as they had to prepare for a pub-crawl. Steve and I continued on to Springfield Marina where we moored up overnight.
It is lovely there. I think I might try and move my boat there but, as with all moorings in London, the chances of getting a berth are thinner than slim.
We wandered into Clapton to find a supermarket. What a curious place! It appears to be populated entirely by Hasidic Jews. Hundreds of men with top hats, long black coats and ringletted sideburns were strolling around while the women dressed like 1920s flappers – calf length skirts with matching jackets, twin-sets and pearls and, more oddly, hats which came down and covered their bobbed hair. And when I say women, most of them were only in their early 20s.
I assume the people of a religious group prefer to marry someone who shares their beliefs, which in Clapton probably doesn’t give you much choice as the population is relatively small. What I guess I am trying to say is everyone looked the same, you know, local features and all that.
The Other Half arrived in time for tea. We played triv after but he got all Paula Radcliffe – when he realised he wasn’t going to win, he gave up!
WEDNESDAY
A chilling start to the day. We were woken by the sound of a woman screaming for help. Steve burst through the back of the boat and ran out on to the towpath. I followed, dialling 999.
We found a woman clinging onto the railings along the bottom of the park which runs along the river. She was very distressed and had been attacked by a man who ran off with her handbag.
I was trying to explain to the call centre where we were but the woman on the end of the phone was being extremely thick and eventually I handed the phone over to Steve. It was then I realised I was standing there in my knickers at 5.30am!
I went back to the boat to make the girl a cup of tea and put some clothes on and by the time The Other Half and I got back to her, she was standing by a car with Steve and another girl who was staying on a boat.
The old bill eventually arrived and it transpired the woman was a prostitute and had picked up a punter but he turned violent. The man actually came back to pick up his car but was arrested.
God knows what actually happened between them but it was clearly not a normal transaction as the girl was so clearly frightened.
What a horrible thing to happen. It is also such a sad story all round. Sad that she said she is ‘addicted’ to working like that as it is so easy – if you need money you can just go out and get it. Sad (probably in a slightly different way) that the man was scouring the streets for sex at five in the morning and felt he could abuse her. Sad that such a nice part of town is the scene of such unpleasant goings on.
The river was beautiful at that time, with a mist rising from the water and the sun just coming up, signalling to the swans and geese to start their day.
When it seemed the police had everything under control we all went back to bed. The Other Half went to work and Steve and I got up at 11am to finish the trip down to Limehouse.
The trip back round the Thames to Poplar was a bit hairy, which is normal when you pilot a bathtub on choppy water! We got back to the berth safely.
It was a great week. I didn’t want it to end.
posted by The WyeBird @ 1:53 pm
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