Vomiting into the gaping orifices of Jesus

Yes you read that correctly.

I went to see Stuart Lee with Steve, Jo and Sarah last night and he seemed hell-bent on shocking the living bejeezus out of the audience.

He came on stage cutting quite a tragic figure in black denim drainpipe jeans, new Doc Martins and an untucked shirt - not a great look for someone approaching their 40s - and began to weave his comedy tale.

There were a lot of good lines about how he'd slept through the 7/7 bombings and was baffled to get 30 texts all asking if he was alright. Particularly as he had had a shitty year as the fundamentalist Christians had shut down his Jerry Springer The Opera show and taken him to the High Court for blasphamy.

He then did a string about how Joe Pasquale nicks fringe comedians' material, or at least his 'writers' do. By going to see comedians and writing down their stuff.

All of this lead to a hidious tale about getting so drunk he was visited by Jesus Christ, who eventually offered his orifices up as a recepticle for Stuart's puke.

I think he was utterly ashamed of himself for writing this material but he wanted to make the point that the Christians will never be able to stop free speech and bully those who do not believe in their symbols.

But he finished the tale by admitting that he also wanted to write a joke that Joe Pasquale couldn't steal.